I have a journal that sits beside my bed of things that I’ve written over the years. It’s mostly just incomplete poems made up of random lines that I scribbled but never completed. As I was procrastinating doing homework tonight, I started flipping through it. This was in it, but without a date, so I’m not sure when I actually wrote it. Sometime in high school, so I was probably around sixteen. I thought I’d share, but please be kind when/if you comment. It took me a while to decide if I wanted to post this, and I almost decided not to.
He’s interested in you. He makes it a point to always call you when it’s convenient for him, and it’s usually convenient for him on Friday nights around 1:30 am. This is hard for you because you don’t wanna be that girl. Your friends have asked you why you still play along and why you have played along for months and you proceed to tell them they just don’t understand.
You’re never the girl to give a guy the one thing he doesn’t deserve until he’s gotten to know you with your clothes on. He’s supposed to know your birthday before he knows your bra size. He’s supposed to know your favorite color before he can figure it out because it’s reflected on all your lingerie. He’s supposed to know your heart before he knows you naked.
But let’s face reality here, ladies. No one does that anymore, right? I mean if you won’t give him what he wants, he will go find someone who will, right? Or he’ll just take what he thinks is his. And I guess when it comes down to it, that’s his choice. You can’t stop what doesn’t want to be stopped. It’s like trying to halt a hurricane. It’s like standing on the ocean shoreline and trying to stop a tsunami wave with just the palm of your hand. It’s like trying to change your mind when you’re already free falling off the cliff. But things happen for a reason.
Throughout all the misconceptions and rude statistics against it, I still think a woman should be treated better than that shit and worthy of something more that a physical satisfaction even as satisfying physical moments can be. But, that doesn’t mean a guy gets to sleep in your bed after the second date. He doesn’t get to come over only when he’s drunk. A women should be left wanting more.
If you really stop and think about it, anyone can take their clothes off and have sex. It’s an easy act to follow through with. But to really stop and open up yourself to someone first; to share your likes and your dislikes; to tell your own story of why you are the way you are; to expose your insecurities and faults; to extend to someone things about you that you don’t even love yourself; to trust and to let someone into your heart when you haven’t let anyone else…
i think that’s truly being naked.