”Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” — Rumi
To be a leader, one must truly feel what others are feeling. To be a leader, one must be able to truly love those she leads. How do we learn to love others? By feeling, intensely, the depth of our own experience. By allowing our own hearts to break. Many spiritual teachers speak of the necessity of allowing one’s heart to break open. It’s not that the heart will break, because it cannot break. However, it must break open, meaning that all the chains that have formed around one’s heart must fall apart so that the heart can blossom in its natural expansiveness. When one’s heart is free to be, it is expansive and open.
Feeling the depths of embarrassment from our own experience of being in powerless positions and disrespected is generally the key to women waking up to our ampleness and wholeness. We have to embrace our strengths and our weakness to totally be ourselves. Every good leader knows their limitations.
Every midwife knows
that not until a mother’s womb
softens from the pain of labor
will a way unfold
and the infant find that opening to be born.
There is treasure in your heart, it is heavy with child.
All the awakened ones, like trusted midwives are saying,
welcome this pain.
It opens the dark passage of Grace.
Opening to the pain of our experience as women, individually and as a whole, is our passage to success and leadership. It is so important that we open ourselves to feel what has been projected onto us over many centuries of being oppressed. Just because you think of America as being the “land of the free” doesn’t mean that women everywhere have the same liberties. The women in America were given the right to vote not even a hundred years ago. There are many layers to this feeling of being oppressed. There are sisters still enslaved, even here in our own country. How much of our anger and guilt can accumulate before the dam breaks? We can use this pain as the way into success, as the way into the opened heart, the way into our capability to be leaders. All women can walk side-by-side with men. No woman needs to be an accessory.
Love yourself and love others. When we come to demonstrate this love fully, for ourselves, and for others, we can be successful. Confidence is key.